Dusan Writer’s Self-Watering Tree

5:36 pm friends, photos, products, science
Dusan shows Adz self-watering tree 1 Dusan Writer: See my scary upside down self-watering tree?

Adz Childs: I love it! Umm.. Dusan? All trees are self-watering.

Dusan: Hmmm. Well, this one is reservoir-watering… with mineral water.
Dusan: It’s a very finicky tree.

Adz: How does it work?

Adz Childs climbs it.

Dusan: Ok, well, see it’s a zero gravity tree. The tree has no gravity so it floats, which is why you need to chain it down. As it floats, air molecules are captured via transduction technology.

Adz: But the Earth has gravity. This is the real world, Dusan.

Dusan: No, this is Winterfell. There are many odd inventions and curiosities here.

Adz: ok!
Adz Childs starts to believe.

Dusan shows Adz self-watering tree 2
Dusan shows Adz self-watering tree 2 Dusan: See, I bred the gravity out of the tree after 922 generations of cross pollinating various tree species. I would look for lightness – wavy branches, bright leaves, and would cross breed them until the tree became so light it floated away. Then, invented transduction technology in order to populate the reservoir and so this tree can even survive in the desert. Or, can be eaten for dessert.
Adz: Where does the water come from?

Dusan: hmmm.
Dusan: See, that was the problem. I forgot to put in a spigot or something.

Adz Childs interrupts.
Adz: No. I mean, what fills the resevoir?
Adz Childs taps the glass.

Dusan: It’s self-replicating water of course. You start with a few drops of water, and they breed.
Dusan: … um. or something.
Dusan: Maybe i should modify the water system. Self-replicating water is dangerous if you let it go unchecked. Oh yeah… I will need to put the campfire other side of the lot. This particular tree has a particular paranoia about open flames, which most trees do of course, but this one tends to freak out more than usual.
Dusan shows Adz self-watering tree 2
Dusan shows Adz self-watering tree 2 Adz: What happens if you drink the water?

Dusan: I dont know if I recommend drinking it.

Adz: Can you make it sprinkle again?

Dusan: hmmm. Yes, i think so.

Adz: That’s neat, Dusan.

Dusan: Well — I should go and write a speech or um watch tv, one or the other. Good night kiddo, and thanks for dropping by. :)

PATENT PENDING

2 Responses
  1. Dusan Writer :

    Date: October 30, 2009 @ 14:43

    I’ve been refining the self-watering methodology for different climates, involving a special glass made of the dead husks of dried up old worms. Worm skin has an adaptive level of porosity which would allow the self-watering tree receptacle to sort of breathe water in and out depending on local humidity. This would allow a continual feedback loop within the moisture containing unit and would optimize the water preservation.

    Now, all I need is a bunch of kids to collect me some worms and I’m all set.

  2. Adz Childs :

    Date: October 30, 2009 @ 17:33

    B-b-but… I know how to collect worms!!!

Leave a Comment

Your comment

You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Please note: Comment moderation is enabled and may delay your comment. There is no need to resubmit your comment.